Email comments and suggestions for future films to: jeff_brisbin@hotmail.com Perhaps they will one day be deemed worthy by yours truly and be given a chance to spread their wings and soar like a majestic eagle.
I am incredibly handsome, devilishly charming, brutally intelligent, and unceasingly humble. I am months shy of 30 years of age and am frequently told that I behave as though I am 7 and a half. My interests include potty humor and cheap liquor. I daydream about sacrifice flies and have been known to routinely put away over a pound of beef (with a dozen or so slices of bacon for flavor) before noon. ...Sorry, ladies. This catch has already been reeled in. C'est la vie, senoritas.s.
All mp3s are for educational, informational, & entertational purposes only. If you like a song, please buy that cd at a locally owned, independent shop or from the artist's website. If you own the rights to a song posted here and would like it pulled, it will be done swiftly and with much grovelling. Enjoy.
09.01.05
Today's non-existent film has been conjured up for the sole purpose of sharing a single song with the world. See if you can spot which song I'm most excited about...
Everybody Is A Star
It's only a matter of time before the movie geniuses in Hollywood realize that they have scraped the bottom of the sitcom barrel and focus their attention towards stealing "reality television" programs to rehash and offer up as blockbuster entertainment. (And those films will make money hand over fist, because people will fork over their cash to see anything. Seriously.)
So why not shoot a crappy film based on the big overhyped karaoke show?
Think about it.
See? it makes perfect sense. It would be simple. Be sure to include the obligatory "unconventional" performances in the beginning, like that of Robby Roadsteamer's "Red Red Wine". You would focus on a few of the "stronger" hopefuls ("stronger" = camera friendly) as they knocked out the "weaker" contestants. ("Weaker" = average.)
Throw in a few great performances of familiar songs (like Jeff Mangum from Neutral Milk Hotel doing "I Love How You Love Me", and a pinch of duets (hopefully they can be nearly as good as Stevie Wonder & what I believe is his daughter Syreeta doing "To Know You Is To Love You").
Regardless, the climax should be one of the finalists going onstage and forgetting the lyrics to his song. He should then "sing" whatever crosses his mind. He should belt out a stream of consciousness that rivals R. Kelly's (unreleased and BRILLIANT) "Trapped In the Closet (Chapter 6)". He should just sing and keep on singing whether it is pleasing to listen to or not. The crowd will of course go CRAZY and he will of course win.
This one is a slam dunk.
When they finally get around to pumping this one out, and you know that they will, remember that you and I had already seen this coming.
Enjoy these songs, and be sure to check out that last one down there...
Sly & The Family Stone - "Everybody Is A Star"
Robby Roadsteamer - "Red Red Wine"
Unbunny - "Nothing Comes To Rest"
Kings Of Leon - "Day Old Blues"
Lewis & Clarke - "Bare Bones and Branches"
Jeff Mangum (from Neutral Milk Hotel) - "I Love How You Love Me" (live)
The Sister & Brothers - "Yeah You Right"
Shuggie Otis - "Strawberry Letter 23"
Stevie Wonder & Syreeta - "To Know You Is To Love You"
R. Kelly - **** "Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 6)" **** (Live at the MTV "Music" "Awards" Show.) (Previously unreleased continuation of one man's brilliant catering to the absolute lowest common denominator.) (Brace yourself for high drama.) (He may have the morals of an Enron exec, but the man knows how to market himself.) (I hope he continues to ride this thing out until I have long since died. Without the suspense and longing for future chapters of this saga, I have no reason to live anyway.)
To view photos from the 5th Annual Brian Venn Memorial Wiffleball Tournament, please click HERE.
(we finished 2nd.)