Soundtracks Without Movies -------------------------------------- jeff brisbin

I am incredibly handsome, devilishly charming, brutally intelligent, and unceasingly humble. I am months shy of 30 years of age and am frequently told that I behave as though I am 7 and a half. My interests include potty humor and cheap liquor. I daydream about sacrifice flies and have been known to routinely put away over a pound of beef (with a dozen or so slices of bacon for flavor) before noon. ...Sorry, ladies. This catch has already been reeled in. C'est la vie, senoritas.s.

All mp3s are for educational, informational, & entertational purposes only. If you like a song, please buy that cd at a locally owned, independent shop or from the artist's website. If you own the rights to a song posted here and would like it pulled, it will be done swiftly and with much grovelling. Enjoy.

08.19.05

For my money, there's really only one kind of movie that can't fail to entertain: those that feature TALKING INFANTS.

Am I right, or what? You need only to recall the joy caused by the films "Baby Geniuses" and the "Look Who's Talking" Trilogy to know that deep in your black little hearts, you couldn't agree more.

It is with the utmost respect for the genre that I present to you all my addition to its illustrious roster of top notch cinematic blockbusters:

L'il Wardens

They'll Lock You Up, But First They'll Steal Your Heart

Tired of being treated like imbeciles,the infants of Greenfield Village unite to regain their self respect and dignity.

"Why should a human being be forced to endure such abominations at the hands of their own caregivers?" asks Reginald (voiced by the incomparable Kelsey Grammer), the charismatic and baritoned leader of this rag-tag band of children-turned-activists. He has assembled the neighborhood kids under the cover of night. He is showing them the cow pajamas he is forced to wear each night as an example of the atrocities carried out by each of the infants' parents. At the close of this rousing and heartfelt speech, the kids disperse, each off to bind and confine their parents to closed spaces. As they go about their duties, we are treated to "O Is The One That Is Real" by My Morning Jacket.

With their parents disposed of, the kids experience freedom for the first time. We're shown dozens of zany occurances that would NEVER happen if they were supervised by adults, most of which make the trailers of the film. While we're presented with a montage of such moments, we hear "Give It To Me Baby" by the immortal funk genius Rick James.

Ultimately, the kids come to their senses and realize that they love their parents, and have treated them as poorly as they themselves were treated. Oh, the irony. As Reginald delivers this soliloquy of Hamletian proportions, we hear the strains of Six Organs of Admittance's "Procession Of Cherry Blossom Spirits".

Once released, the parents unleash a whoopin' the likes of which have not been seen since Tina borrowed Ike's platformswithout permission. This restores the delicate balance of power between the two camps.

We hear Living Jazz's version of "ABC" as the credits and a blooper reel roll. Is there ANYTHING those kids won't say?!?

And now, music from and inspired by L'il Wardens:

Bonnie "Prince" Billy - "Puff The Magic Dragon"

Oliver Morgan - "Who Shot The La La"

My Morning Jacket - "O Is The One That Is Real"

Quasi - "Little Lord Fontleroy"

The Ramones - "Beat On The Brat"

Animal Collective - "Did You See The Words"

Rick James - "Give It To Me Baby"

Salim Nourallah - "All Waste The Days"

Wilco - "Just A Kid"

Twisted Sister - "I Wanna Rock"